Active Listening

In the previous post I had discussed some of the basics of communication. Today I want to discuss one of the major pillars of communication.. Listening or rather Active listening.

According to Wikipedia "Active listening is a communication technique that requires the listener to feed back what they hear to the speaker, by way of re-stating or paraphrasing what they have heard in their own words, to confirm what they have heard and moreover, to confirm the understanding of both parties."

Active Listening is not merely listening attentively to the speaker. It means listening to the message, understanding it and giving the appropriate answer or feedback. It is quite simple to become an active listener. Here are some of the ways that can help you become an active listener.

1. Pay Attention

It is the first and most important step in active listening. Pay attention to the speaker. This does not mean that you only pay attention to the words that are being spoken. The listener also need to pay attention to the tone, pitch and body language of the speaker. It is quite easy to miss the underlying thought or feeling of the speaker if we pay attention only to the words being spoken.

2. Verbal Nods

The listener needs to instill some amount of confidence in the speaker for him/her to speak freely. One of the ways to let the speaker know that you are listening is through verbal nods. Verbal nods as the name suggests means that you give some kind of acknowledgement while listening to the speaker. It could be something as simple as "Uh huh", "Ok", "I understand" etc. Verbal nods play a very important role, especially in a telephonic conversation where the speaker is not able to see the listener. Verbal nods gives the feeling of being heard and understood by the speaker. But don't overdo it.

3. Paraphrasing

It often happens that we are not clear what the speaker is trying to say  for example, if the speaker is emotional (angry, upset, happy etc). In situation like these it is best to paraphrase. Paraphrase means summarizing what the speaker said in your own words. This lets the speaker knows that even if you got some information incorrect you are keen to understand what the speaker is saying. Also, when you summarize in your own words, it lets the speaker know that you are getting there and how you think through the language you use.

4. The "And.." Method

This is one of the best ways to seek more information from the speaker. When the speaker has too many things to get done or has a lot of things to say or he/she is speaking very fast, you as the listener can always control the speed of communication by using this technique. This technique can be used while there is some space in the statements of the speaker. You can politely ask "So you need to set up an account and..." You stretch the "and" so that the speaker can add or delete anything that you did not understand. It is quite effective with people who have parallel thoughts running on different things.

5. Don't Interrupt

One of the most important aspects of listening actively is not interrupting. Think about it how many times have you called your mobile phone service centre and they kept interrupting you without listening  to what you needed or called for. In the same way if you kept interrupting the speaker it would irritate him/her. Not just that, we as speakers are very attached to our stories so we would not mind going back and starting from the beginning. So at the end of the speech you will have wasted a long time, listened to short story which turned long due to your interruption and on top of that you would have an irritated speaker who would still not feel satisfied because you kept interrupting.

6. Take Notes

It is a good idea to take take notes while you are listening to someone. I will help you retain any point that you may have missed while listening. Also make sure that you do not keep scribbling on your notepad while the speaker is talking, this might irritate him/her. It is important to keep a good balance between those verbal nods and taking notes.

7. Eye Contact

Eye contact with the speaker gives him confidence in you as the listener. Maintain a good eye contact when you are communicating. Make sure you don't scare the other person with too much eye contact. Keep it distant, polite and look in the eyes while listening. Don't look at your mobile or the paintings on the wall while you are being spoken to, this shows a clear disinterest in the speaker. And that communication won't go too far.

Communication Training Introduction

Before we start talking about training on various skills the first thing that comes to our mind when we say training, we think communication. So today on this training blog I will discuss with you communication training. Since it is a vast and dynamic area of training, we would have to take one step at a time. I will discuss few concepts and then move on to the next step.

First lets talk about the basic things so that we have a clearer understanding of this word "communication".

1. What is the difference between speech and communication?
2. What is the difference between listen and hear?
3. What does communication mean?

Let's look at the first question.  Speech is when a human being vocalizes his/her feelings, expressions or thoughts. One can speak even without an audience, example, practicing a speech in front of the mirror. The speaker is talking but there is a possibility of no one listening to it. Communication, on the other hand uses speech as one of its components. It is a much wider concept.

Now the second question. According to Wikipedia "Hearing, auditory perception, or audition^[1] is the ability to perceive sound by detecting vibrations,^[2] changes in the pressure of the surrounding medium through time, through an organ such as the ear." In simple words whatever sound is made in your environment and that you are able to hear it through your ears is called hearing.

Listening on the other hand is defined as "Listening is often confused with hearing. While hearing is a biological process that can be scientifically explained, listening is a psychological phenomenon. Listening is psychological because it requires internal contextual contemplation of the sound waves. This internalization requires the use of social connotation which implies bias. According to philosopher Roland Barthes, listening can be understood on three levels: alerting, deciphering, and an understanding of how the sound is produced and how the sound affects the listener". Listening involves hearing, understanding and analyzing. The listener has to go beyond what the speaker is saying, he/she needs to asses the tone, choice of words and various other things. One of the best examples to help you differentiate between the two is when you drive while the music is playing in car. You hear the traffic noise but if a song gets you attention, then you start listening to it. If a cop stops you then the song is what you hear and you listen to what the cop is saying to you.

In order to communicate well, one needs to be an effective listener. We will discuss various points in finer details as to help you become or train others to become an effective listener.

Now we come to the most important question what is communication?

Wikipedia says "
Communication (from Latin "communis", meaning to share) is the activity of conveying information through the exchange of thoughts, messages, or information, as by speech, visuals, signals, writing, or behavior.
Communication requires a sender, a message, and a recipient, although the receiver need not be present or aware of the sender's intent to communicate at the time of communication; thus communication can occur across vast distances in time and space.

Some of the words used in this definition can be understood here:

• Message: The thoughts or ideas the speaker is trying to communicate.
• Sender: He/she is the speaker.
• Recipient: The listener.

It is also important to note that the recipient is also expected to share his/her feedback with the sender in order to complete the cycle of communication.

So the speaker needs to be an effective speaker who uses the right words, tone etc with respect to what he/she is saying. We will be discussing the points of how to be a good communicator in the later stages.

Hopefully this post will help you understand the basic concepts of communication clearly.


"